Crimson and gold (Goache)

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Day 58.

I went up to the attic where I had been storing some of my earliest drawings and paintings. It was curious to go through my old sketch books I observed myself feeling a lot less critical towards all of the work seeing strengths and and aptitude in pieces that previously filled me with self condemnation.

A lot of work and a lot of looking. A lot of humour too.

I saw in the work the girl I was at various stages of my youth and the struggles I was facing. So many of the sketches brought a smile to my face. I noticed especially in the life studies that although my technique was crude and my lines often messy and indistinct I often succeeded in capturing the personality of the subject especially noticeable in the studies of close friends and intimates. Within my collection of charcoal sketches I saw a living past that photographs can’t convey.

I’m so glad I still have them and am gladdened at how much I’ve grown and changed since then more importantly how much I’ve stayed the same.

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